When I Grow Up

There are so many aspirations and dreams one has as a child that never seem to work out the way we think they will. Adults always ask, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Of course the average kid responds with, “astronaut,” “president,” “doctor,” firefighter,” etc. The not so average kid responds with, “taxidermist,” “fast-food server,” “prostitute,” “cat,” etc. As we get older, these dreams either change or we just realize how far out of our reach they really are. Well I am here to share with you some of my childhood ideas for a career and while they have not come to fruition, I am not giving up yet.

Gardener: I don’t really know why I ever wanted to be a gardener, but an old project from my elementary school days says this was my dream job. I think this one I may actually give up on since my cat has a far better green thumb than I. And she doesn’t even have thumbs!

Power Ranger: I think this dream really just stemmed from the fact that my first crush was the pink ranger. I don’t know that I really wanted to fight weird putty aliens so much as I wanted to get to know Amy Jo Johnson. I did study martial arts, so I guess I fulfilled half the dream and I can always hold out for the day I get to know Amy Jo Johnson.

Professional Assassin: Can you tell I didn’t have a lot of close friends as a kid? But really the pay is great, you make your own hours, and it is a really innovative field. John Cusack makes it look so appealing and all I have to do is buy a couple of black suits and I am in business.

Con Artist: I have always been a prankster, so why not take it to the next level and make some money out of it? I could always start charging a dollar a day to read my blog.

Shortstop for the Atlanta Braves: Hey, I am ready to go. I am just waiting for the right scout to see me at my weekly softball games. It’s about time a woman made it the MLB.

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