If I could have one wish in this world it would be to have a zombie apocalypse. No lie here, this is not a joke. Since high school I have hoped with each world disaster that somehow the dead would rise and civilization as we know it would come to an end. Crazy, right? I can’t help feeling this way though. Here is my reasoning behind this. Real life is boring. So some people love action films and would love to be in high speed chases and run from explosions. My love for the living dead and all the foul aftermath that come with them is no different. Now I would never try to top Max Brooks’ Zombie Survival Guide, but here are some tips to help you survive when the apocalypse arrives.
-Pick a weapon that you don’t need to reload. There is nothing worse than running out of bullets, arrows, pellets, or stones. Especially that last one, you could at least beat a zombie with an empty gun, but your slingshot probably won’t do much.
-Always have enough supplies to last you six months. I like to think of this in terms of how much you should have in your savings account, or how many tampons one should keep on hand. In a pinch, you’ll be glad you thought ahead.
-WATER!!! I know the world has come to an end and every night is a party for you, but even if you aren’t too drunk to function, you will eventually die from dehydration. Running from zombies will take a lot out of you although the staggering around like the drunkard you are may help you fit in with the living dead.
-Always have a buddy but never make a friend. This world is one where you won’t know who you can trust. You may want someone to watch your back so you can take a leak with some security, but you don’t want to be caught with your pants down. As selfish as it sounds, look out for numero uno only.
-Be prepared to say goodbye to loved ones. Once again, I know this is harsh, but we have to prepare for this in civilization as well. Most of the time in this world we don’t have to be the ones to do the deed though unless good old mom and pop have a really good insurance policy and it has to look like an accident. In zombie world though, you have to be ready to pop a cap in pop. Just think of your teenage years spent hating your parents and it should be easy.
And always remember, the great thing about failure in a zombie apocalypse is that the old adage holds quite true, “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!”