So yes, I unfortunately have gotten myself a black eye and don’t even have a good story to tell. That doesn’t stop every person I have interacted with from asking me how I came to have this hideous injury. The thing is, it doesn’t hurt and I often forget that I look like I went a few rounds with Ronda Rousey. Alright, it doesn’t look that bad, maybe I just said something inappropriate to her in a bar. I imagine I look pretty confused though when someone asks, “what does the other guy look like?” or “What happened to you?” So here are some better stories that I will have memorized for the next person that asks.
-I fell off a donkey.
-I was caught messin’ around with the wife of a jealous man.
-I decided to experiment with S&M but I forgot my safe word.
-I walked into two drums and a cymbal. It was actually kinda funny.
-My cat and I got into a fight. She won.
-Well I was Tom Cruise’s stunt double for the new Mission Impossible movie and it’s a good thing I was there for him. We are the same height, you know?
-Pema got mad that I blogged about her.
-It’s not a good idea to use the pick up line, “punch me in the face if I am wrong, but I think you want to come home with me tonight.”