No matter what trends come and go, what new technology comes about, or how the times change, friendship is one thing that will never go out of style. Here is how to determine if you have reached best friend status no matter in which century you reside.
- You don’t rape your friend’s wife
- You don’t judge your friend for supporting an indecisive pope
- You share a drink with your friend even when he exhibits the symptoms of the plague
- You would do anything for your friend, including commit heresy
- You keep in touch even after you or your friend set sail for the New World
- You support your friend’s religious freedoms
- Together you start the first book club to discuss the first novel, Don Quixote de la Mancha by Cervantes
- You would do anything for your friend, including hide the other blankets in the box marked “Indians”
- You listen to your friend go on and on about taxes on tea
- You dress up like Indians to vandalize a ship
- You agree to disagree when you find out your friend is a Tory
- You would do anything for your friend, including lend them your best horse
- You talk about your husbands
- You share recipes
- You hook up while your husbands are at work…okay maybe you are more than friends
- You would do anything for your friend, including bake them a cake
- You have the password for the WiFi at your friend’s house
- You know exactly how your friend takes their coffee
- You are grateful for unlimited texting, otherwise your phone bill would be outrageous
- You would do anything for your friend, including pause Netflix
We could all use a little pick me up every now and then. Here are some inspirational quotes and sayings brought to you by yours truly.
The best and worst things in life all revolve around love; it is up to you if it is the best or worst.
The best memories are made when your phone dies.
Distance never comes between friends. It just results in high phone bills and expensive plane tickets.
The only acceptable excused absence for life must be written in the form of an obituary.
The only thing to fear is fear itself…and crazy bitches ’cause they can light your house on fire.
If all the world knew my name
and I were destined for eternal fame,
you would still be
the only fan of importance to me.
© Autumn Siders 2015
There are very few times
when a cat wants to be seen.
If your attention is needed,
you will know what I mean.
When I am napping and hunting
or eating or sleeping
your voice is not needed
and your face not worth seeing.
I hide for a reason
and no matter how you call
I will not respond or come
I don’t look like a dog at all.
So here are the rules,
there are two times we should meet,
if ever there is poop on my butt,
or every time I need a treat.
© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2015
While I am quite content with who I am, there are a few things that I have always wished for that might make life a little better or at least a little fun.
-I wish I had a foreign accent. (I did try this my first day of high school, hoping I could convince everyone I was really British. Unfortunately, my British and Australian are a little muddled.)
-I wish I were just a few inches taller. (I don’t want to play basketball or anything, just reach the top shelf without a stretch.)
-I wish I could read an entire book in a minute. (This is really the only way I could come close to finishing my ever-growing library.)
-I wish I had the money and space to adopt every cat in need and find them forever homes. (Let’s face it, I would probably take in every animal in need.)
-I wish my cat loved me. (At least she loves the treats I give her.)
-I wish I had the ability to heal or at least ease the pain of my loved ones. (Maybe the least realistic of my wishes, but possibly the one I would wish for most.)
Just between you and me
there is a secret place
to which I can escape
and be who I am truly.
No matter what I say
or how hard you may seek,
this place will remain a secret
since only I know the way.
The walls that surround
are impenetrable for sure
and no tools and no words
will bring them to the ground.
But if ever you hold a space
within my heart I could arrange
a trip around the walls
and a glimpse at my secret place.
© Autumn Siders 2015
Long ago in a far away land, there lived a woman named Arantxa. She lived in a little house in the woods with a dwarf woman and a cat.
The little house was black and had many windows. It was very old and near the house there were many trees.
Arantxa was blonde and beautiful. She had blue eyes and was very nice.
The cat was named Zorro. He was very handsome, intelligent, and blue. Arantxa loved the cat.
The dwarf was called Paloma. She was ugly and short but very nice. She lived with Arantxa but she was always lonely.
One day, while they were living the boring life, a thief named Ricardo appeared. Ricardo kidnapped Paloma. Arantxa and Zorro were very sad.
Arantxa called the prince and he left the castle. His name was Ignacio and with his father, he searched the woods but he couldn’t find Paloma.
Arantxa was lonely. Zorro stopped eating and was sick and he was very skinny.
Then, one day, a beautiful princess arrived at the house. She said, “Arantxa? ‘Tis I, Paloma!”
Right after, Ricardo entered the house but as a handsome prince. Paloma said, “we fell in love and then my fairy godmother appeared and changed us into a prince and a princess.” Zorro and Arantxa were happy.
But Paloma said goodbye to Arantxa and Zorro and she lived happily with Ricardo. Arantxa fell in love with Ignacio and married him. Arantxa and Zorro moved into the castle and all lived happily ever after.
It is true that you learn something new everyday. At least if you keep an open mind and are willing to learn this is true. These are some recent epiphanies that have blown my mind and changed my life forever.
-I need to stop smiling in pictures because I have chubby cheeks and smiling makes me look about 100 lbs. heavier than I actually am.
-Before you hit “spin” in Trivia Crack, you can move the wheel manually to a different icon.
-The world really is a scary place with scary people out there and they all support the Trump campaign.
-Occam’s razor does not really apply to me or anyone in my family, it is almost always the zebra in our case.
-Knowing that someone else is wrong, doesn’t make you right.
-9 times out of 10, self-diagnosing oneself with Google is more accurate than any doctor. And hey, for that tenth time, at least you saved your money for the hospital bills that will ensue after the infection spreads.
-Walking a mile in someone’s shoes really does no good because we all have different feet.
Unconditional love can be observed
in phone calls at 3 am,
in moments of weakness,
in moments of strength,
in words unspoken,
and in actions unseen.
© Autumn Siders 2015
Readers can be defined
by what fills their shelves.
They amass a collection
that reveals their true selves.
Writers are harder to peg
as they hide their true self
for the tomes that they create
are on their inner shelf.
© Autumn Siders 2015