No matter what trends come and go, what new technology comes about, or how the times change, friendship is one thing that will never go out of style. Here is how to determine if you have reached best friend status no matter in which century you reside.
You don’t rape your friend’s wife
You don’t judge your friend for supporting an indecisive pope
You share a drink with your friend even when he exhibits the symptoms of the plague
You would do anything for your friend, including commit heresy
You keep in touch even after you or your friend set sail for the New World
You support your friend’s religious freedoms
Together you start the first book club to discuss the first novel, Don Quixote de la Mancha by Cervantes
You would do anything for your friend, including hide the other blankets in the box marked “Indians”
You listen to your friend go on and on about taxes on tea
You dress up like Indians to vandalize a ship
You agree to disagree when you find out your friend is a Tory
You would do anything for your friend, including lend them your best horse
You talk about your husbands
You share recipes
You hook up while your husbands are at work…okay maybe you are more than friends
You would do anything for your friend, including bake them a cake
You have the password for the WiFi at your friend’s house
You know exactly how your friend takes their coffee
You are grateful for unlimited texting, otherwise your phone bill would be outrageous
You would do anything for your friend, including pause Netflix
Long ago in a far away land, there lived a woman named Arantxa. She lived in a little house in the woods with a dwarf woman and a cat.
The little house was black and had many windows. It was very old and near the house there were many trees.
Arantxa was blonde and beautiful. She had blue eyes and was very nice.
The cat was named Zorro. He was very handsome, intelligent, and blue. Arantxa loved the cat.
The dwarf was called Paloma. She was ugly and short but very nice. She lived with Arantxa but she was always lonely.
One day, while they were living the boring life, a thief named Ricardo appeared. Ricardo kidnapped Paloma. Arantxa and Zorro were very sad.
Arantxa called the prince and he left the castle. His name was Ignacio and with his father, he searched the woods but he couldn’t find Paloma.
Arantxa was lonely. Zorro stopped eating and was sick and he was very skinny.
Then, one day, a beautiful princess arrived at the house. She said, “Arantxa? ‘Tis I, Paloma!”
Right after, Ricardo entered the house but as a handsome prince. Paloma said, “we fell in love and then my fairy godmother appeared and changed us into a prince and a princess.” Zorro and Arantxa were happy.
But Paloma said goodbye to Arantxa and Zorro and she lived happily with Ricardo. Arantxa fell in love with Ignacio and married him. Arantxa and Zorro moved into the castle and all lived happily ever after.
It is true that you learn something new everyday. At least if you keep an open mind and are willing to learn this is true. These are some recent epiphanies that have blown my mind and changed my life forever.
-I need to stop smiling in pictures because I have chubby cheeks and smiling makes me look about 100 lbs. heavier than I actually am.
-Before you hit “spin” in Trivia Crack, you can move the wheel manually to a different icon.
-The world really is a scary place with scary people out there and they all support the Trump campaign.
-Occam’s razor does not really apply to me or anyone in my family, it is almost always the zebra in our case.
-Knowing that someone else is wrong, doesn’t make you right.
-9 times out of 10, self-diagnosing oneself with Google is more accurate than any doctor. And hey, for that tenth time, at least you saved your money for the hospital bills that will ensue after the infection spreads.
-Walking a mile in someone’s shoes really does no good because we all have different feet.