I have known for a while that my love for animals runs far deeper than my love for humans, but here are some great ways to tell if you too are animal lover before humanitarian.
-You will slam on your brakes, veer off the road, crash into a tree, or cause a 10 car pile up to avoid hitting a squirrel crossing the street, yet you will swear, yell, gun the engine, and actually swerve towards a pedestrian trying to cross outside of the crosswalk.
-You shout bon voyage to a flock of geese and wish them well on their trip south and then celebrate that this means the tourists will be leaving your town as well.
-You can hold a three hour long conversation with a dog but you use the self-checkout at the store so you don’t even have to say “hello” to the cashier.
-Here is your grocery list: cat food, cat litter, your best friend’s birthday present. Here is what you actually buy: cat food, cat litter, catnip, new cat toy, cat bed, water fountain for cat, more cat food, cat condo….am I forgetting something?
-Your idea of a good time is going to the animal shelter and playing with every animal there while making a game out of avoiding the volunteers and staff.
-When you are watching a horror film you cry profusely and cover your eyes when an animal comes on screen knowing that they may not make it but when the human is savagely ripped apart by the zombies and their organs are scattered about you think cool.
-When everyone else is sharing pictures of their children and boasting that little Timmy could be a rocket scientist and you whip out an album of your cat sleeping in 65 different ways and tell them how she can catch a mouse all on her own.
-You’ve actually held up traffic by stopping to talk to a deer on the side of the road. Even the deer thinks you’re weird.