Things That Sound Better When Said to Animals, Not People

Go fetch your balls when you are done licking your butt.

Do you like it when I pet you there?

I better not catch you drinking out of the toilet!

How many times have I told you to stop pooping on the floor?

Who’s ready to get neutered!?

Get that mouse out of your mouth! You don’t know where it’s been!

Wanna’ go for a walk? Let me get your leash.

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