The community is in a sticky situation tonight after several break-ins have been reported. While there is cause for alarm, the authorities are saying that they are close to containing the culprit responsible for this. The pubic was first alerted of the rash after a thief was seen breaking into a car with his tool. Shortly thereafter, the owner of the car was the first to notice the situation.
“Well, I caught the guy in the act and he discharged his weapon at me so I ran back to the house. I knew something was not right,” says local Willy Peters.
More than 5 cars have been burgled in the neighborhood. Police Chief Dick Hed says, “I don’t know how long this guy thinks he can keep it up, but we will have him in handcuffs soon.”
The police department urges all residents to use protection, lock your cars, and keep your pants on at all times.
Among the items catalogued as stolen from neighborhood vehicles are antibiotics, condoms, anti-itch cream, and a pack of gum.
If you have any information please contact Penny Beaver at police dispatch 555-6969.