Kittens These Days

Kittens these days, they don’t know how easy they’ve got it.

Back when I was just a little kitten, people needed can openers to get into my dinner. Now these people just pull off a cover and it still takes them too long to get my meal ready.

Back in my day, we caught real mice. And we ate them too. Now these kittens seem content with catching a bright pink stuffed creation that hardly resembles a rodent. That stuffing is a little dry when you try to eat it.

Back in my day we chased and ate bugs to our heart’s content. We didn’t chase a little red dot that doesn’t taste like anything. I swear that thing is from the devil anyway.

Back in my day, the cat nip epidemic was nowhere near as bad as today. Sometimes we had it, sometimes we didn’t, but we sure as hell didn’t infuse every one of our belongings with it.

Back in my day we had to walk all the way to the food dish and back to the bed. Uphill both ways. Now it’s breakfast in bed. Wait, maybe that’s just me but I tell you what, kittens, you reach the wise age of 5 and then we will talk.

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