Yet Another Day on the Campaign Trail

My Fellow Americans! And those who follow me and are lucky not to have to go through an American style election! I feel like the campaign process in America could very well be described in similar detail to that of an old war diary. The conditions suck. You hear the same thing day in, day out. Someone is constantly under fire. And at the worst of times you pray for death. I have the absolute privilege of living in an area where it would appear as if Mr. Donald Trump is one of the greatest candidates there is and only Dr. Ben Carson could come close to having our town’s vote. I do hope you all note the sarcasm that fuels this paragraph.

With that being said, I have the luxury of seeing a Trump sign on just about every lawn and corner around here. While I am sure that he does not care what I think of his sign or slogan, I think it could use a little sprucing up so I am here to help, Mr. Trump. I know I am lacking in artistic design, so let me just offer you a few slogans that might better explain your campaign since the folks of my town think you just want to “Make America Great Again.” Was it great to begin with?

“Make Hatred Great Again”

“Be an Asshole”

“Heil Trump”

“Find a Scapegoat and You Never Have to Discuss Your Faults”

“You’re Fired”

“Ignorance is Bliss…Until I am President”

“My Word is as Good as My Hair”

I would hate to discriminate like Mr. Trump, so here are some slogans from the cutting room floor of other candidates:

Dr. Ben Carson (side note: if he get’s elected do we call him Dr. President?)

“Heal. Inspire. Revive. or push 2cc’s of epi and get a crash cart, stat!”

Hillary Clinton

“Not Monica for America”

Jeb Bush

“¡Jeb!”

Bernie Sanders

“Do You Hear the People Sing?”

Chris Christie

“Telling it Like I Think It Is”

Ted Cruz

“Setting the Promise for America on Fire”

Marco Rubio

“I Need to Become President or Trump Will Deport Family”

 

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