For those unconventional relationships this Valentine’s Day…
| To the mother of my children… | My love for you has grown over the years as much as your vagina. |
| To the man of my dreams… | Thanks for being there when my husband isn’t. |
| You robbed my heart, my love, my soul. | I robbed your bank account. Much love. |
| Save the flowers and the chocolates, | You’re going to need the money for your doctor’s bills. Enjoy the syphilis. |
| Roses are red, violets are blue | Here are some flowers, but I am still dumping you. |
Autumn Siders 