Pebble

It wasn’t until I got home

that I found the pebble in my shoe

mainly because before that

all my thoughts had been of you.

With no more miles to go

I finally took a break

and realized that pebble

had been more than I could take.

Bruised and bloodied,

I thought this must be a sign

that all my thoughts of you

can never be benign.

© Autumn Siders 2016

Because

It isn’t because he is black

and it isn’t because she prays.

It isn’t because she drinks

that she is the one who pays.

It isn’t because he kisses boys

and it’s not because she loves her wife.

It’s not because his skin is dark

that he fears for his life.

It isn’t about his God or hers

and it’s not about his wealth.

It’s not because he is “normal”

that others hide with stealth.

It’s not because his dress

is prettier than her tux.

It’s not because society

cares who she fucks.

It’s not because his ancestors

were her family’s slaves.

It’s not because of his accent

that his family lay in graves.

It’s because one person

planted a deadly seed,

fed with hate and fear

and potted in soiled greed.

It only takes one person

to take a loving hand

and fix the garden growing

into a loving land.

It’s not about black or white

because the world is gray.

It’s not about you or me

because it’s about humanity.

© Autumn Siders 2016

Self-Titled

A softball buddy told me she was going to be writing a book about me. I think she was joking, but maybe not. I am not sure if I should be worried, but the least I can do is help her out with a title. You may have heard not to judge a book by its cover, but I think you can completely judge it by its title. So here are some suggestions I have for her if she is being serious.

The Leaves Have Fallen: A Biography of Autumn

Heartless is the Way to Be: How to Rid Yourself of Emotions

I’m Out: The Memoirs of a Part-Time Lesbian First Basewoman

I Am Laughing on the Inside: Resting Bitch Face and More

Book Slut: Tales from Between the Covers

Don’t Shoot Until You See Their Bloodshot Eyes: Tales of a Revolutionary Zombie Hunter

No puedo parar la música en mi cabeza: Una memoria

Lights Out: My Love of Fighting in the Dark

I Write: Anything You Say or Do Can and Will Be Used Against You

Scratch: How I Taught My Cat to Play Pool

These are merely some suggestions since I don’t know what direction her book will take. But, I think I am eager to read it.

Happy Birthday to Me

Since tomorrow is my birthday, here is my wish list. Please send my gifts immediately.

-1 mouse who is too tired to run

-Fish

-5 blankets (I only have 5, so I can double my sleeping spots with this gift)

-Tuna

-Peace & quiet

-Some sort of device that can be used to destroy combs and brushes

-A universal remote that is paw-friendly so that I can turn off the television when it interrupts my hunting.

-Muzzles for my people

-Tuna and fish

-10 empty cardboard boxes or 10 boxes of tuna

Really, if you would care to send me a gift, send something useful along to the shelter from which I was rescued. There are other cats and pups who may be in need of a new home and food, but at least they don’t have to put up with the terrible servants that I have!

Crafting

My Life Partner for Life has this amazing blog. She is so thrifty and crafty and lively. She is always turning out these fantastic masterpieces from things she just has laying around the house. I thought maybe I should try to be more like her, so I shall share my crafting genius with you.

There is one thing that is never lacking around my house, cat hair. You can find it just about anywhere you look, except on the cat. Being that Emilita is a long-haired beauty, most of the time she leaves large contributions for us, such as this one.

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So we ask ourselves, what can be done with all this excess cat hair? Well someone was bright enough to write a book, cwchCrafting with Cat Hair by Karoi Tsutaya.

 

 

While I love to read, books that tell me what to do make me angry, so I figured we would just wing it. I think the first step is collecting cat hair. You can keep it safe in a jar such as this one until you have enough for a project.

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Once you collect what you think you will need, you can start laying out your project. Think about what you might like to make out of cat hair. I think… I will make a cat.

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I did read something in the book about an iron, why don’t we start ironing?

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It is probably best not to iron on a carpet, but I was very safe so it was okay. Turn your iron on the lowest setting and let the hair bake for about 20 minutes. Pretty soon it starts to take shape.

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Within an hour, I had a fully-formed cat right before my very eyes!

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So, don’t try any of this at home, work, school, or basically anywhere. Actually, you should probably just check out Kerry’s blog since she knows what she is doing.