It was a hot day in July when I witnessed the murder. I was laid up on my front porch that day on account of being a cat. With nothing else to do, I decided to keep an eye on the neighborhood. I was just dozing off when I saw a flash of orange across the street. It turned out to be the bully cat, Scat, who lived in the loud house across the street. He always tried to catch the birds from my yard. Often times, my servants were forced to chase him away making noises loud enough to raise the dead.
Today, however, he was on the run from his captors, Zed and Caliban. Those two were always sure to be bad news. They smoked like chimneys and if I didn’t know better, I’d say they were growing something illegal like catnip. I kept my eye open in case Scat tried anything funny. When I was sure he was on his way to the pond, I finally settled back in for a nap.
~
I was just starting to see mice on the back of my eyelids when suddenly,
Clang, Bang, Bounce!
The school boys down the hill were always tinkering with something. If there weren’t things to fix, then their favorite pastime was basketball. I craned my neck to get a glimpse of their action. One boy was playing basketball, but the other two were out of sight. Then there was a silence like I had never heard before in this neighborhood. I waited to hear hammering or a car racing up the hill.
Swoosh!
A flock of every kind of bird flew out of the trees across the street. Like straight out of The Birds, I feared for my life (that movie was not what I thought it would be). Each winged creature sang a different song, but each just as terrifying as the next. They flew with all their might as I checked my blanket to make sure I hadn’t emptied my bladder.
Clang, Band, Bounce!
The boys were at it again.
~
My servant finally arrived to give me a well needed massage and I told her about all the crazy things happening in the neighborhood.
“Nothing good will come from spying,” she warned. Boy, was she right. She made me some tuna and then left me to my own devices.
I knew I should be resting since I wouldn’t be able to nap for a least another hour, but I couldn’t pull myself away from the action. The pesky squirrel was back on the tree. He was an addict. He discovered the hummingbird feeder this spring and it was downhill from there. Whenever he came around, he rubbed his little paws together as he sat jonesin’ for a fix. The other critters veered away from him fearing he would go nuts at any moment.
I kindly told him we didn’t have what he was looking for, but he insisted on sticking around in hope that we might put a new feeder out for him. Every chipmunk, dove, and woodpecker promptly turned around when they saw the guy. I was ready to go out there myself and take care of the problem when suddenly,
CAW! CAW!
The squirrel ran and the sky darkened above as if night had fallen. Where the poor addict had been just seconds before was a scene I could barely believe.
A murder had landed before my very eyes. Savage and brutal, the black mass filled the yard. A cacophony of screams and caws made my blood run cold. I called to my servants,
“More seed out front!” The gang cawed in agreement and with the hope that they would be hungry nevermore.
I finally settled back in for a long needed rest, but I knew I would never forget this hot July day when I saw a murder from my front porch.
Autumn Siders 