I always wondered

just how you crossed the line

and went down that dark path

without a second thought in mind.

I see clearly now

no lines were ever crossed

since you started on that side

and paved that path at my cost.

© Autumn Siders 2016


There was a spot in the sun

in which I used to sit,

but as the weather changes

I find that I do not fit.

I never used to worry at all

about my size and weight

but as my fur grows thicker,

those words, I really hate.

“Wow,” they say in awe,

“look at that big cat!”

So I say, “shut up, you dumbass!

This is all fluff and not fat!”

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

Disney Dilemmas

Have you ever kissed a frog? Been poisoned by an evil queen? Been made out of wood? Didn’t think so. Wouldn’t Disney movies be so much better if they tackled the important dilemmas at hand that we might be able to relate to?

Snow White and the Seven Daddies: While trying to escape the wrath of her angry pimp, Snow must also figure out who the daddy of her newborn baby is. With seven candidates to choose from, how will she ever figure it out especially when her baby won’t stop sneezing?

Beauty and the Breast: A young and beautiful bibliophile constantly rejects the advances of a manly hunter who wishes to marry her. She is able to avoid him further when her father is held hostage for trespassing and she offers to take his place. Initially the young beauty despises her diesel dyke captor, but the more she gets to know her, their love blossoms like a rose. And they U-Haul happily ever after.

Adult Toy Story: A young couple happily move into their new house. All is well until the young woman gets a new toy called Buzz. Their relationship quickly falls apart and the young man resorts to several acts of sabotage to get rid of the new toy in town.


Mouse & Cat

This game of cat and mouse

has carried on far too long

and just when I think I am the cat,

you attack and prove me wrong.

I have been patiently waiting,

crouched and ready to pounce,

and I gave you more than I wanted

so that my very being, you denounce.

It’s not even a problem, being the mouse

if that’s the sacrifice I must make,

but knowing you are still a cat

is what makes my heart truly ache.

© Autumn Siders 2016


The blossoms outside my window

are beautiful indeed,

but my allergies soon make it

impossible to breathe.

You aren’t that different

from these adolescent flowers;

since being in your presence

is more unbearable by the hour.

© Autumn Siders 2009