#nofilter…in print!

Hello all,

It would seem I’ve done it; I’ve published a book. This blog started with the poem “#nofilter” and out of everything I have written, I feel like that was really a jumping off point for me to start sharing my work. While I had written plenty before and surely more has come after, it only felt right to title my collection after the term that captures who I am so exquisitely. Many of you who read my blog do not reside anywhere near me, but for those who do I will have a signing at The Country Bookseller in Wolfeboro, NH. If anyone wants a copy of the book, you can get an autographed copy from the store. Check out their website for contact info.

For those who continue to read mine and Emilita’s work, thank you. I hope that my ramblings do something for you. Also, that is me, not Pema.


I still think about it sometimes,
the day I was fired.
The owners had just cause
or so you said.
I was a kid,
you just didn’t like me.
What was it you said
I said?
“I hate gays.”
Then I threatened you
with a scissors,
not the knife
I always carry
because I know
what it’s like
to be a hated gay.
A word I learned
as I came out of the closet.
I learned in college.
I learned at Pride.
I learned in heartbreak.
I learned with the shock waves
of Orlando.
I learned through history:
The Stonewall Inn
The Up Stairs Lounge
Matthew Shepard
Rebecca Wight
Brandon Teena,
the list,
goes on.

I was working two jobs
to support my family.
I left, enraged.
Our boss,
Maybe because
so many acts of ill-will
against our family
come from the outside,
she never expected one
from within.
Were those tears
for me?
The wrongly accused.
Were those tears for you?
Such claims had to believed
even when they seemed
Were those tears for her?
Because she believed.
Because she didn’t believe.

the details don’t matter.
What’s done is done
and there’s no going back.
What weighs in my mind
and in my heart
is how many others
suffered your wrath?
What led you down this path
to stab your own family
in the back?
How can we expect respect
from those who don’t understand
when we can’t even
respect each other?
There are enough people
holding us down,
quieting our voices,
telling us we are wrong.
Shouldn’t we support
those we call family?

© AUtumn Siders 2018

Congratulations, Breanna and Luke!

The one you love
stands before you today
making promises for life
to love and to stay.
Look in his eyes
and know that it’s true,
that love never dies
and that’s what he feels for you.
The one you love
opens up your heart
and holds it gently
whether together or apart.
Look in her eyes,
and know that it’s true
of all the people on earth,
she chooses you.

© AUtumn Siders 2018


For the two or three readers who may wonder where I’ve gone, I am taking a brief hiatus from daily posting to work on putting together my first work to be published. I’ll try to post here as much as I can and hopefully be back full time after my work is done. Thanks for following me and even bigger thanks if you actually care!

Taking a break,
or am I broken?
Perhaps all my words
have been spoken.
Finding myself,
where did I go?
Hopefully some time
will let me know.
Hopping trains
and on the move,
hoping life
has something to prove.

© AUtumn Siders 2018

if only

I’d ask you out
if only the words would come
but they are stuck in my throat,
trapping my lungs.
I’d bare my soul
if only I thought you’d care
but I know in my heart
that’s more than I dare.
If only I could find a way
just to make you see
that all you ever needed
is right here with me.

© Autumn Siders 2018

Napping Alone

The sun seeps through
and reaches my throne
so I stretch a little farther,
excited to be alone.
A let out a yawn
and crack my eyes
and twitch my whiskers
and continue with sighs.
A nap is always best
with lots of warmth and sun
and is even better
when I’m the only one.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2018