To My Bird

I taught you the ways of the world

like how to make a human

cater to your every whim.

I taught you to make noise

when you want their attention

really do anything, go out on limb.

I taught you to make messes,

or maybe it was you who shared

the best way to leave the crumbs.

I taught you to cover your ears

whenever there is any noise

including those damn drums.

I taught you all of this and still

it seems as though your lessons

in love were somehow greater.

You helped me become a family cat

but I would still try to eat you

but not because I am a traitor.

So, let it be known, that no other

can ever abuse or attempt harm

to you, my bird and my brother.

So much as a cat can proclaim,

my love to you, I do unless anyone asks

then I don’t even know your name.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

Field Guide to Fictional Birds

Big Bird aves flavis, length 8’2,” wingspan 20′: Large yellow bird often confused with members of the canary, condor, and whooping crane families. Diet of cake. Flight pattern unknown due to lack of flight, but often seen around Sesame Street, NY. Unfortunately we cannot tell you how to get there. Voice: ab-keddef-gajihkel-monop-quristuv-wixyz

Tweety aves parvisflavis, length 13cm, wingspan 7″: Tiny yellow bird. Member of the canary family. First androgynous bird to star in his…her…? own show. Diet of Cheerios™. Flight pattern: away from Sylvester. Voice: I tawt I taw a puddy tat

Road Runner aves velis, length 52-62cm, wingspan 43-61cm: Incredibly fast and long-legged bird in the cuckoo family. Diet of smaller animals and insects which it kills by slamming them against the ground with what seems like the force of an anvil. Spends most of its time on the ground in the desert. Can be found running from coyotes. Voice: Beep, Beep

Toucan Sam aves luculentus, length 15″, wingspan 4′: Colorful bird with the incredible ability to smell out Froot Loops®. Eats mostly cherries, lemons, and oranges. Travels wherever his nose takes him. Voice: OOT-fray OOPS-lay

Iago ara irritis, length 81cm, wingspan 45″: Selfish, mischievous, and colorful this scarlet macaw feasts on fruits, nuts, and deceit. Often loves warmer and tropical climates, but can also be found spelunking in the Cave of Wonders. Voice: annoying

*Inspiration courtesy of my Life Partner 4 Life.



Sara Bareilles is very wise in saying “I still count on one hand the number of good men I know.” Well Sara, I can count on one shop teacher’s hand the number of good men I know and two of those men are animals. It’s not that I am one of those man-hating women, I get along just fine with men. The problem is that many men and women lack the ability to be humble. There is one man I know though who humble, intelligent, and never complains about a thing. This man, is my bird Webster.

Webster came to live with us many years ago and the way we found him was quite incredible. My family and I were on our way out for the evening when we noticed something in the road outside our house. My mom stopped the van and when my brother and I jumped out, we realized that this “something” was really a bird. Now normally a bird in the street is not an unnatural thing, but when that bird is a cockatiel, that changes the story a bit. We figured there was no way we were going to be able to wrangle this beautiful yellow bird to safety and just as we tried to pick him up, he jumped right up on my brother’s finger. We brought him in the house and he spent his first night with us in a cat carrier. From the very beginning, we knew he was a special bird.

Now, Webster has been through so much with us. He has had some hardships of his own and through it all, he always has a smile on his face. He has known three different cats and five different fish and he has loved all of them. Even now when his cat seems to be first on the totem pole and he is often last, he is always patient and always kind. He knows that he will be taken care of and that if someone else needs the attention first, then he can handle getting the attention last.

Webster can ring the bell in his cage like no other, has the ability to say “kitty, kitty, kitty” and “I love you,” and is quite handsome, but the most amazing thing about Webster is that he is a kind soul. I can chat with him for just a little while and I am immediately calmed by his presence. Yes, he is a bird and I know there are many people out there who might disagree with me, but it doesn’t matter what body your soul may reside in but it does matter how your soul resides in the world.