I don’t need the movie scenes,
all Hollywood,
plastic and fake.
I don’t need the romantic dreams,
turning to nightmares
all full of snakes.
I don’t need the love song
the pulsing of hearts.
I don’t need a ring
threatening to tear us apart.
I just want you,
exactly as you are
filled with fault
and showing scars.

© Autumn Siders 2018


My physical scars
have only me to blame:

The divot above my eye
from scratching chicken pox,
the bump upon my head
caused by a nail,
the scratch down my cheek
from a cat less-than-impressed,
the discoloration on my knees
from racing trash cans down a hill.

My emotional scars
have only you to blame:

My inability to trust
which you, I obviously could not,
my lack of interest in love
which I thought was real with you,
my error in stringing others along,
which I learned from the best,
the wall around my heart
that I raced to build as you walked away.

© Autumn Siders 2017

Does She Know?

Does she know your favorite song?
Not the one by Drake
but the one you put on repeat
that summer we spent at the lake.

Does she know you hate your boss
but love your job?
And when you think of quitting
you go to the bathroom to sob.

Does she know the story
of the scar on your knee?
Or did you tell her the short version
you tried to tell me?

Does she know that look
that pierces right through
and uncovers every lie
turning it into truth?

Does she know that smile
is just hiding the tears
or that once upon a time
I helped you fight your fears?

Does she know my name
or that I even exist?
Does she know that my charm,
you couldn’t resist?

Does she know the reason
why you walked away?
‘Cause I’d love to hear
what you never did say.

© Autumn Siders 2018
Does She Know?

But I Won’t Do That

I can change my schedule
and I can lose some sleep.
I can make some changes
for the one that my heart keeps.
But certain things, you see,
will never ever change
no matter how much love
the two of us exchange.
I’ll still stop along the road
to chat with a frightened deer
and I’ll still sing so out of tune
that you’ll wish you had no ears.
I’ll still love my baby cat
more than you’ll ever know
and I’ll still be a mommy’s girl
even though I can let go.
I can open my heart
and sure I’ll let you in,
but I’ll never change who I am
or where my soul had been.
There’s a lot that I would do
just to see you smile
so long as you remember,
I’ve been me for a while.

© Autumn Siders 2018
But I Won’t Do That