The Divide

Agreeing to disagree is avoiding the problem. There are some issues that warrant a difference of opinion and others that are absolute in nature. Some matters to be debated: taxes, healthcare, the salaries of politicians. Some matters that are absolute: equal rights for all, saving the environment, knowing that the following performance is mediocre at best, but contains a highly important message.

If you can’t listen, you can’t change. If you can’t change, you can’t move forward. If you can’t move forward, think about where that leaves you.

Enjoy, share, cringe at my voice, but no matter how it makes you feel, listen.

The lyrics will be in the upcoming collection of poetry, “She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not.”

Bullet Proof

This stain won’t ever come out;
once it sets, there’s no hope.

One second it wasn’t there,
then the next it was
like one second you were
and now you’re not.

That soul will never return;
once that light dies, there’s no hope.

Thoughts and prayers,
vacant stares,
tears enough to fill
the drying seas

This hate will never end;
once it sets, there’s no hope.
How could you look her in the eyes?
How were you prepared to die?
How did you find the strength
to pull it?

The answer is clear
hate is alive;
the proof is in the bullet.

© Autumn Siders 2019

What is Pride?

What is pride?
Is it the opposite of shame?
Is it living with yourself
and not distributing blame?

Do you wake up in the morning
and love the one you see
staring back from the mirror
yearning to be free?

Is it the smile on your face
or the gesture small or grand?
Is it the love for self
and the love for fellow man?

One thing I can see
is that it’s not parades and flags;
it’s also not some white men
complaining about those fags.

It’s what is in your soul
and the product you create.
It’s in the love you give,
but it’s never in the hate.

© Autumn Siders 2019


I still think about it sometimes,
the day I was fired.
The owners had just cause
or so you said.
I was a kid,
you just didn’t like me.
What was it you said
I said?
“I hate gays.”
Then I threatened you
with a scissors,
not the knife
I always carry
because I know
what it’s like
to be a hated gay.
A word I learned
as I came out of the closet.
I learned in college.
I learned at Pride.
I learned in heartbreak.
I learned with the shock waves
of Orlando.
I learned through history:
The Stonewall Inn
The Up Stairs Lounge
Matthew Shepard
Rebecca Wight
Brandon Teena,
the list,
goes on.

I was working two jobs
to support my family.
I left, enraged.
Our boss,
Maybe because
so many acts of ill-will
against our family
come from the outside,
she never expected one
from within.
Were those tears
for me?
The wrongly accused.
Were those tears for you?
Such claims had to believed
even when they seemed
Were those tears for her?
Because she believed.
Because she didn’t believe.

the details don’t matter.
What’s done is done
and there’s no going back.
What weighs in my mind
and in my heart
is how many others
suffered your wrath?
What led you down this path
to stab your own family
in the back?
How can we expect respect
from those who don’t understand
when we can’t even
respect each other?
There are enough people
holding us down,
quieting our voices,
telling us we are wrong.
Shouldn’t we support
those we call family?

© AUtumn Siders 2018

Take it from a Cat

The world is simple from my eyes,
I wish humans could see the same.
A nice nap and a meal will do
or maybe a cat and mouse game.

I fill my days with love for myself
so call me selfish if you will,
but I’ll never really hate you
unless you try to give me a pill.

Sure I am not loyal like a dog
but I think my pride’s enough
at least I spread no hatred
over superficial stuff.

Yes, I know I’ve killed,
but just a mouse or two
and not because of hatred
or who they prayed to.

I may not be the best judge
but at least I can see
that love will get me dinner faster
than will negativity.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2017

If I Don’t Make it Home

I am not one to preface my work with an explanation and I have never believed good poetry needs one. Today though, I feel as though this work stands stronger with the explanation of how it came to be. As I was leaving the house this morning, a day in which the 45th president of the United States will be sworn into office, I thought to myself, is there anything you should say to your loved ones before you leave today?

It shocked me that this thought entered my mind and I pictured the words rolling out of my mouth, “If I don’t make it home…” Are there any secrets that I should share? Are there any unresolved feelings? Is there something that would make my loved ones unable to feel closure after I am gone? Also, why the hell would I think this?

We are not just stepping into a new country today, we are stepping into a new world. Every action made today impacts the globe; the politics of one country affect everyone on this planet. One tweet from our new president could cause a war, both within our country and against it. More importantly, our actions can also be heard ’round the world.

You may support the soon-to-be President Trump. You may despise him. But remember, he ran a campaign on hatred. Move forward with positivity whether he is your president or not. Life is made of choices, make sure you make ones with which you can live. These words come from both the New Testament (Ephesians 4:32) and Ellen, so whichever you choose to acknowledge please take them to heart. Be kind to one another.

Without further ado, the poem you’ve been waiting for:

If I don’t make it home,

there are a few things you should know.

I’ve hidden money in our spot

in case I had to go.

My favorite memory of life

is the day you stole my heart

which would have been second

to the family we hoped to start.

Please know I didn’t want this,

as the choice was not mine to make;

my choice is always you

it’s another’s choice to take.

The press will say it’s all your fault,

but believe me, it’s just not true.

Hatred claimed my life that day,

not my love for you.

© Autumn Siders 2017

Love Trumps Hate

*Disclaimer: The following is not intended to sway anyone’s opinions or beliefs. It is however, intended to sway your feelings. If you take offense to any of the following, I don’t give a fuck. Grow up.

I pride myself on political apathy. I have never acted upon my right to vote, but I also do not complain about the results. Apathetic, sure, but hypocrite, no. This time around is no different. I will not complain about the results but rather the reaction of all these people who believed in the system. It seems the whole country, maybe even other countries are so shocked by these results. I am not though. I would like to think I see this “great” country in a different light than others. I knew from the beginning of this circus that the only person who might be able to beat Trump would have been a Kardashian.

I, like many others, was hoping that once the election was over, we would finally see an end of the ridiculous behavior from both sides. It would appear my hopes have been crushed. It is quite possible that things are worse now, and it’s not Trump’s fault. Surprise!

I am saying all of this as a member of a minority whose rights may now be at risk, but then again, nothing in this life should be taken for granted. I know it has been pointed out by some already, but we do need to realize that in other parts of this world, there are many people who have it far worse than we do. Americans do have this sense of entitlement which has gone on for far too long.

That being said, Trump hasn’t even taken office, but his foes have already taken the offense. Do I think that he is going to “make America great again?” No. But maybe we should give the guy a chance since he will be leading this nation for at least four years. Unless he decides to grab the wrong pussy and gets impeached.

If there is one thing we have learned from his campaign, it’s that there is a lot of hate in this country. So, what has been the major reaction to his election? More hate. This is definitely not the answer by any means. We don’t have to like him, but we also shouldn’t hate him. We shouldn’t fear him either. There has been a lot of work in past years to put everyone on an even playing field. So much work, that it will take time to dismantle it if that is the path the new administration plans to take. And they will win, if we fight fear and hatred with fear and hatred.

People are spending so much time worrying about what could be and forgetting to live in the moment. I could end up being gunned down by a homophobe three weeks from now or a stack of books could collapse upon me tomorrow trapping me until I take my last breath. I don’t care, because I live in the now and enjoy the things that matter. My family, my friends, my cat, my bird, The Walking Dead. Happiness is not determined by who sits in the oval office. Could that person make it harder to be happy? Sure. But I know for a fact that no matter what is taken from me, love is one thing that cannot be taken. Choose to love, not to hate.