I hope you loved your present,
I had me in mind when I got it.
It’s the thought that counts,
I hear.
I hope your birthday was grand
while you cared and served me.
You should honor me every day
of the year.
I hope you enjoyed your treats
but I’m glad you got mine first.
No celebration is complete
without a fish.
I hope you don’t expect much
since it was only one day.
The others belong to me;
get my dish.
The window
is open,
let there be air.
The birds
are singing,
the breeze in my hair.
The chipmunks
are running
from here to there.
The cat
is napping,
leave me alone.
Flitter by again,
I dare you.
You think you’re so fast
don’t you.
Just wait,
as am I
and you’ll see
that I’m quicker
than you’ll ever be.
What’s with all this noise,
can’t you see I’m trying to sleep?
You say it’s all for me
but I find that hard to believe.
I never asked for that shelf
or for you to take that one away.
Why can’t you leave things as they are
for just one day?
Cats, we do not like change
so just respect this fact
and stop all this noise
before you force me to act.
Your torturous weapon
made of plastic teeth
will haunt my dreams
with constant grief.
For my own good,
this you always say,
but that comb is the devil
in every single way.
There’s a stranger in my yard
and I am not a fan.
There’s a burglar on the loose,
who will catch this man?
There’s a woman out there too
and they surely have a plan.
There are strangers in the yard
so it’s about time I ran.
Oh, how I just can’t wait
for you to walk through that door
in fact, there is nothing else
I could ever want more.
Yes, I sit and I wait
and every task I do
is filled with love
at the very thought of you.
I know this is what you think
but you are simply just a tool
since I am not a dog
and this is April Fool’s.
My stomach is turning
and my mouth is so dry;
this hairball inside me
makes me want to cry.
But real cats don’t cry
so look how brave I’ll be;
I’ll roam around until
I find the perfect spot to free
this chunk of hair,
all slimy and gross
and full of saliva
and disgusting to most.
Walking sure helps
but laying even more
so the best spot to be
is on your bed and not the floor.
From here to there
and back again,
I roam the walls
of this lion’s den.
What do I want?
You’ll never know
since what I need,
I’ll never show.
Meow from here
and meow from there,
now I’ll stand
with my icy stare.
You need to learn
how to read my mind
since our language barrier
has us in a bind.
Don’t you know
what I say?
Give me fish,
you big dummy!
What a wide world there is
outside my little bed.
Adventures await,
an exciting life ahead.
There are critters to kill
and sun to catch,
grass to munch,
and birds to snatch.
Still, I’d rather keep
these dreams inside my head
since dreaming out loud
means I have to leave my bed.
Autumn Siders 