I Heard an iPhone Buzz – When I Died –


I heard an iPhone buzz – when I died –

The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Cloud –
Between the Heaves of Upload –
 –
The Eyes around – had always been dry –
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset – when a snapchat
Be witnessed – in the Room –
 –
I willed my passwords – Signed out
What portion of me be
Digital – and then it was
There interposed an iPhone –
 –
With Blue – uncertain – stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the iOS failed – and then
I could not see to see –

Technology, can’t live with it, can’t live…well with it.

I write to you now on a piece of technology that did not exist just a short time ago. Yes, there have been computers my whole life, the internet has existed, and for the most part I was raised in the personal computer aged society, but this computer I am using is only the second I have owned in my life and the first I bought when I was 17. It still seems crazy how far technology has come though in the last two decades and I am sure that folks older than I can say the same of the last five decades. All the questions have arisen, “does technology make us lazy?” “Does it make us dumb?” “Does it make us vulnerable?” “Does it make me look fat?” Okay, so maybe not that last one, but it does cause a lot of discussion about our society and where it is headed.

Don’t call me a hypocrite, but I have always been an anti-technology kind of person. I am fascinated not by what a computer can do, but by what a person can do. Obviously a person invented the computer, I think Charles Babbage takes responsibility for the first programmable computer, but the computer itself is not what amazes me. What amazes me is that people can do some pretty cool things with or without the help of technology. Now I am not hoping for this to happen, but all great things must come to an end as we learned from the Romans and their high tech aqueducts. So, in case the world wide web crashes tomorrow, in case all computers become infected with a virus that decimates the digital world, in case Skynet sends nukes to start a war, here are some really great solutions to the average computer user for filling the void in your life.

No more Microsoft Word? Have you ever heard of a typewriter? It’s like a computer without the screen. This complicated device lacks auto-correct, but forces you to know how to spell on your own. If this is too much for you, there is always pen and paper or perhaps chisel and tablet.

No more YouTube? Do you miss your cat videos? The simple solution for this is to go to your local animal shelter and observe. WARNING: you may go home with too many cats, but you will once again have cat “videos” in the comfort of your own home.

No more games? I hear back in the day that people actually played solitaire with real playing cards! But I guess it is really hard to compete with slicing fruit and Angry Birds.

No texting or email? Maybe you could actually talk to people. Like with full words. To their face. The best thing is you won’t have a phone to distract you so you could have a real conversation. About your cat videos.

No more Facebook? Well come on, how many people on your friend list have you actually talked to in the last year? Maybe instead of checking in to every place you visit, you could now try checking in to your life?

Technology does have it’s benefits, after all it is how you can be reading my extremely hilarious and helpful blog right now. Technology also has it’s downfalls. Don’t let it rule your life, but rather let it be a tool you can use while living your life. Always read my blog though.